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Tag Archives: Rex Grossman

Are the Giants a Reformed Crack Whore?

As a Redskin fan, I simply cannot wrap my feeble brain around this. The Giants, who will face the Patriots in the Super Bowl on Sunday, lost twice to the 5-11 team from D.C.. It’s like Julia Roberts marrying Lyle Lovett, or the Alec Baldwin in Pearl Harbor. It strains credulity, and simply makes no sense at all.

The first game in week one was a road game for the G-men, and they came into Fed-Ex field beat up and unprepared for the onslaught of Rex Grossman. That’s fine. It happens. The Redskins still believed that Rex was an NFL caliber QB, and didn’t know they were supposed to lose. But the second loss to Washington defies all logic.

In that tilt, the 4-9 Redskins traveled to New York with 1/3 of their starting offense. In a game that the Giants needed to win the Skins managed to win by 13. The Giants had gotten their front four back and should have made Rex Grossman more uncomfortable than Paula Deen in a Pilates class.

I can’t explain why it happened, but I think it was that loss that eventually propelled the Giants to Super Bowl XLVI. In the parlance of 12 step programs, they had finally hit bottom. When they woke up on December 19th the Giants had to look in the mirror and admit that they had a problem. Losing twice to the Redskins was the NFL equivalent to blowing a hobo for beer money. “Hi My name is Osi and I lost to the Redskins twice.”

After the first loss, they saw themselves like a cocaine user who thinks they can do it occasionally. Antrelle Rolle saying “If we played them 100 times, they might win five.”, was the same as “Yeah I gave my dealer a handjob, but I can quit any time.” The second loss made them put down the crack pipe once and for all and turn their team around.

I’m not sure what, if anything it says about Washington, but to be the League’s rock bottom is shameful. And Devin Thomas is more likely to get a Super Bowl ring than anybody on the Redskins roster.

“Hi my name is Danny, and I’m addicted to overpriced free agents.”


Gross, Man!

Pick? What pick?











Would you rather have your genitals eaten by a honey badger, or have black rats gnaw their way out of your colon? Tough question, I grant you. But no tougher than the one Mike Shanahan has to answer regarding what to do at quarterback, if none of the young studs are available in the 2012 NFL Draft. USC’s Matt Barkley has already opted out, and there are rumblings that Baylor’s Robert Griffin III, Oklahoma’s Landry Jones, may chose to do the same.

At that point NFL teams are left with the likes of Ryan Tannehill, Nick Foles, and Kellen Moore. As is generally the case teams will reach at QB, and take guys higher than they should. Witness Blaine Gabbert in 2011. That leaves Shanahan either reaching for a guy in the draft that he’s not in love with, or something else. I don’t believe he’ll reach for a mediocre QB, and so I’ll address that something else scenario.

Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors, as contemplating this has caused my keyboard to short out several times from my tears. Let me start with what is NOT an option. Allowing John Beck anywhere near Redskin Park. After Sunday’s game with the Eagles, Shanahan should go straight to the Ashburn Courthouse and file a restraining order against Beck. Aside from staying at a Holiday Inn Express last night, he has no NFL qualifications whatsoever.

     To Rex or not to Rex. That is the question.

Arguments in Favor of Keeping Rex:

  • He know the Shanahans’ complex, graduate level, mega-mind system.
  • The players will follow him.
  • He is not a serial killer.
  • If he plays next year, we will all understand that he is temporary.
  • A free agent acquisition may muddy the need to draft a franchise QB. This absolutely cannot happen.
  • Rex is basically free. Nobody else wants him. Teams are going to overpay for the F/A QB’s that are available. Matt Flynn is going to steal somebody’s money this year, and Drew Brees ain’t walkin’ throught that door.

Argument Against Keeping Rex

  • Rex sucks.
  • It will make everyone feel good to lop off Rex’s head at the end of the season.

As much as it makes me wretch to say it, we need to keep Rex around in 2012. A free agent will fool us into thinking we have the answer. This team is still not close. The answer folks is playing in college somewhere. The one thing that may cause Shanahan to reach in the draft, is if he knows the leash is gettting short. A rookie QB pretty much assures him of two more years. Either way… WELCOME BACK REX!! I just vomitted on the honey badger in my lap.