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Monthly Archives: January 2012

What’s with Jim Harbaugh?

Jim Harbaugh Don't Care. Jim Harbaugh Don't Give a Shit

Wow! let me be the 5,789,376th person to say what a fantastic job Jim Harbaugh has done in his rookie year in the NFL. And let me be the first (at least as far as I know) to say this guy is a horse’s ass.

Initially liked his old school tough-guy act. When he ran up the score on Pete Carroll, and then verbally smacked him down at mid-field, I thought, “USCs’ been doing this for years. Serves’em right.” When he roughed up Jim Schwartz after beating the Lions this year, I thought “Schwartz is an asshat. Screw him.” I even defended Jimmy HardPaws (Steve Czaban’s name)  in an earlier post on the Lion’s turn toward unlikability

But now it turns out that Sean Payton called him to coordinate how they’d handle a pre-season game in August, and Harbaugh never called him back. Now apparently while against league rules, this is a common practice, so that coaches can work on things that they need to.  When questioned about it, he claimed to be unaware of the practice. He followed with “We ask no quarter, and we give no quarter.”

Slow down Longshanks. This is a freakin’ scrimmage. Designed for coaches to get a look at players, and for owners to sell full price tickets and $9 beers at an organized practice. Really? “We ask no quarter, and we give no quarter.” Pre-season games are a joke.

OK. So he’s such a tough-guy, that he won’t discuss strategy with the opposing coach for what is essentially practice. Practice? We talkin’ bout practice? Does he at least show the common courtesy to a Super Bowl winning coach, to return his phone call? Of course not. He’s kinda badass. He just don’t give a shit. He seems like he was the kind of kid who’d eat a cat turd if you double dog dared him.

His Clint Eastwood with a whistle act is getting tiresome. The 49ers would have been a team I could have easily pulled for through the play-offs, but  now they are in Lions territory for me. I hope every 49er gets explosive diareah next weekend and they have to forfeit. Boo Jim Harbaugh. Boo.

 

Matt Flynn is Dreamy

Pick me! Pick me!

I wrote a week ago that Matt Flynn was going to steal somebody’s money in free agency this year.  Much like Scott Mitchell and Kevin Kolb before him. This was before he lit the Lions up for 480 yards and six touchdowns in week 17. I am starting to hope that the money he gets is from one Daniel Milhouse Snyder. Wow. I can see why Snyder likes to play GM. Because for the casual football fan who doesn’t know the difference between a 3 technique and a 5 technique, there are lots of shiny things out there to get you excited. RGIII, Flynn, Justin Blackmon, they all look so pretty through the store window.

But history has shown us again and again that all that glitters is not gold. As much as everyone, myself included, hates the way that Snyder has operated the Redskins, I would end up running my team the same way. How hard it must be to sit on the sideline and watch the grown ups buy the groceries. I,  just like Snyder would be sitting in the cart screaming “No! Not the Broccoli, I want a Zagnut Bar!”

Just a week ago I was hoping for way to get RGIII.  Now its Flynn in free agency, and Blackmon in the draft. 480 yards and six touchdowns! In one freakin’ game. It would take Rex Grossman four outings to produce numbers like that. And he’d have 7 picks and a fumble to add to it.

My point is to illustrate that this is hard. Tom Brady went in the sixth round. Half of the scouts thought Ryan Leaf was a better option that Peyton Manning. People were noting the lack of red-headed quarterbacks in conversations about Andy Dalton. Snyder is a fan just like the rest of us. I for one am glad we now have Shanahan and Allen running things. They are a strong tandem with enough NFL cred to keep Snyder quiet. You want to get rid of Shanahan? You’ll end up with a shopping cart full of Zagnuts and Dana Stubblefield’s.

In the tiny logical part of my brain, I still think Matt Flynn in poised to pull a major heist. But please, steal it in Ashburn, VA.