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Tebow Blames God for Loss to Pats

In Sunday’s post game press conference Tim Tebow said God was to blame in their 41-23 loss to New England. Asked if he was angry, Tebow laughed sheepishly and said, “No, I’m pretty sure I had it coming.” Reporters then pressed further, and Tebow made a shocking admission. ” On Thursday, in a moment of weakness, I abused myself to an episode of The Facts of Life.”

Further research indicates that Thursday’s episode was the one where Natalie loses her virginity. Asked later if the subject matter was too much to resisit, the pious QB said, “It wasn’t even Natalie that I was thinking about. It was that little colored girl. I think that’s why God was so mad.”

Tebow addressd the team Monday, vowing to never to touch himself again.

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