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Conversations with Joe Pa – Part 1

 

I'm old...cut me a little slack.

 

Some have made the argument that Paterno maybe didn’t understand what McQueary was telling him about Sandusky. ‘Cause he’s old and all. Seems to me natural curiosity would lead to a conversation to find out more. I imagine it went something like this.
McQueary: Coach, thanks for meeting with me tonight.

Paterno: This better be good. It’s 7:30 and Matlock’s on. What is so bad that you’re here at this ungodly hour?

McQueary: I was in the field house last night, and I caught Jerry Sandusky “horsing around” with a 10 year old in the shower.

Paterno: What do you mean “horsing around”?

McQueary: Well uh…. He was packing his fudge.

Paterno: He always packs the kid’s lunch on game day. Why would he leave out the fudge. Dorothy’s a fantastic cook.

McQueary: No coach. I don’t think you understand. He was ahhh… Drilling offshore.

Paterno: Good! You know it cost $54 to fill up my LeSabre last month. Drill baby drill.

McQueary: No! He was cruising the Hershey Highway!

Paterno: He was at the game yesterday, and Hershey is a hundred miles from here. I’m confused.

McQueary: Joe, he was balls deep in the kid!

Paterno: Ya mean he was buggering him?

McQueary: Yes!

Paterno: I’ll take care of it.

RING, RING, RING
Curley: Hello

Paterno: Tim, it’s Joe. Somebody saw Sandusky horsing around in the shower with a 10 year old.

Curley: What do you mean “horsing around”?

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